Its the most wonderful time of the year, right?

I am not feeling the holiday spirit at all. I cannot think of what to get people which is usually my thing...I love to get people the perfect gift. This year, I suck. It might be partly because I am sick. I had a head cold now turned chest cold and I just want to curl up under the covers for eternity. I missed two days at the gym last week but I am excited to report that I have lost 15 lbs and only have 10 to go to goal. That is usually the most difficult but I am going to stay positive and make it go away lol. I am supposed to train some dogs this weekend and I really want to but I feel like dog crap so I am not sure if I should go. I could use the money but not the aggrivation of traffic traveling to them. I would also get to spend some time with my good friend and that is always a plus. Work is the same. I missed a couple of days due to my cold but it hasn't changed too much. My sweetie had his board this week for a promotion and I am keeping everything crossed in hopes that he gets it. He deserves it. This year has been a lot of work. Physically, spiritually and emotionally. I am looking forward to 2014 and I am hopeful that one of my friends is right and that it will be my best year yet. :) I believe my 40s will be better than my 30s which is very exciting as my 30s have rocked. Anyway, I hope you have a very merry Christmas or whatever your faith celebrates. Happy 2014 too!

long week

Is it Friday yet? OMG I wish! I actually wished that on Monday lol. Today my workout was supposed to be that killer one I do every Wednesday but today was an easy day. I just had to run. I might do more at some point just because I feel like I didn't put in enough work. Speaking of work...it just gets worse everyday. People just do what they want and don't care if they are screwing up their dogs or not. I am so over that. I informed my supervisor of the situation and he seemed like he was going to fix it but I just heard him tell one of the guys breaking the rules that he's got him. Awesome. WTF. They wonder why people hate this place. Anyone need a dog handler/trainer? I am looking forward to getting home today. I have about an hour with my dogs and then I have a massage appointment. I cannot wait. I'm sure I will feel differently in the am when I am trying to lift weights but I don't care. Friday cannot come soon enough! I am going to San Francisco for the weekend and see family. There is a tree trimming party happening and I am going! I know it seems a little nuts to go for the weekend but the price was right and I need a break! I say that but, I am a little worried about getting stuff done for next week before I leave. Tomorrow night I will me a maniac lol. Anyway, have a great day and weekend!!! I might blog while on layover...who knows.

deleted that rant

I'm sorry but I had to delete that rant about the frenemies. Its not my business to be putitng it out there...they will get what is theres. Anyway, its another Monday at work and I have a case of the Mondays lol. Not really, just dragging a little. Probably the weather.

Brrrr rabbits! Come on Thanksgiving!

It was 22 when I left for work yesterday. Today is was much warmer, 33 but with freezing rain = awesome. I hate the cold. I am not sure if it is because I am from California or what but that is what I blame it on. Anyway, today's workout was boxing - I didn't do so well lol. I got punched in the face and that made me well up but I kept the tears at bay. Maybe I should get a new workout on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Luckily Thanksgiving is Thursday so we won't be boxing. LOL. I am hoping that if I continue this workout routine that I will get better at boxing. I totally suck at blocking. I guess a black eye could solve that one. I just hope it doesn't come to that. With Thanksgiving in a couple of days I am happy that we are going to see my sweetie's family. It is his birthday too so that should make it extra special. I wish we had planned further out so I could have brought a cake and stuff but his mom is taking care of it. I am not sure if it would be appropriate to bring his bday gifts with me or not but I am lol. I also took the liberty of inviting an officer from work that won't be with family this year. I can't have her be alone...that just sucks. I also invited her for Christmas and I hope she will join us. I am sure I won't remember to blog before Thanksgiving so Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

Decisions Decisions

My 40th is coming up and I want to do something great. I know my sweetie is hoping for a cruise but I am not really sure yet. I know I would love to go see my family in California again but it won't be very warm there! Maybe a cruise is the way to go. UGH! I am so bad at making decisions! Today was my first morning workout with the trainers. Wow. First we ran a mile, then we wrestled and then I had to carry a 60lb body shaped bag up and down the stairs combined with squats. Holy Cow! Tomorrow is abs and something...I don't even remember what they said. I think I heard burpees with makes me dread tomorrow. LOL I am just glad to be back in the gym and hope that I can get a routine again so it would be easier to stay on track. I think I can stay on track since I have that challenge from my friend lol. I am going grocery shopping this weekend to pick up some grassfed/organic meat and I will probably go paleo for a while. I need to drop that weight! I cannot wait to meet my goal.

Everything looks promising

So one of my friends is trying to help me stay on track...it would totally help if we could figure out what makes me get off track but that is another story. They suggested that they reward me while I stay on track. If I reach my goal in the allotted time, I get a big prize. I actually believe they think I will fail so they are totally into the idea. Sucks to be them because I love a challenge. I will succeed and they will pay up lol. I went to the gym today and I think I am going to eat paleo from now on. I plan to go shopping when I get home to start asap. I am on a strange schedule this week and next so I am going to come in early and go to the gym before my shift. The trainers are just going to add me to their workout. YIKES! I am excited overall. So tomorrow...it begins!

hello again

Well, as usual work has been nuts. I went to FL for my mom's bday and that was fun overall. I went to visit my grandma, aunt, uncle and cousin too which was great. Always good to see family. We came back to a broken HVAC system. Actually it was broken before we left, I just didn't realize how bad. Thanks to ARS American Residential Services in Manassas, VA, we have a brand new system and it was installed the next day. Amazing customer service! Other than that, I started a new tattoo. I am covering the tattoo that I had removed via laser tattoo removal. You could still see a little bit of it so I wanted to cover it. I hate explaining about what used to be there, blah blah blah... It will be awesome once it is complete. Next month we add color so it should be awesome! I am still doing the kb challenge. I had a couple of set back days and was traveling a little so I had to add to the 30days to make those lost days up. I am happy to say I am still doing them and have moved up in weight! I think I might keep doing it after the 30 days are complete. It seems to keep my strength up and my focus. Oh and I am going to yoga! I'm excited to start that up and make it a regular class in my life.

Still on track

I am happy to report that I have been staying on track! I feel better and seem to be sleeping better which is a huge improvement. I went to the gym and worked out with the trainers Thursday and Friday of last week and well thanks to that, I have had to extend my KB challenge a few days. My quads are killing me so I thought it would be better to not do those few days of swings and do them later. I did, however, go to a friend's house and attempt yoga. It went pretty well. She picked a program for beginners and we couldn't do some of the poses for the length of time the instructor did. We have decided we don't like that particular instructor and found another. We ended up doing three of her programs which went well. My schedule has changed again. I am now on five days a week instead of four. On the bright side, I can work out M-F now. I also will get out of work earlier which is always a good thing. I have some excitement coming up this weekend. Its my mom's 60th so we are going to see her. Of course that means a day with my favorite mouse too. I cannot wait. My DH should be excited since he is finally getting the chance to eat at the Brown Derby! I will be on track while in FL too. Luckily this is a race weekend so the Expo will be going on at the ESPN place. We are going there right after we arrive. I need to get some cool new gear! I am totally looking forward to her bday - I got her something pretty special and it was a pain in the ass to track down. I hope she loves it. I will post after the bday just in case she has stumbled upon this blog. Anyway, I hope everyone had a great weekend and that this week flies by!

On Track!

Well, I am happy to report that I have been good! I am down seven pounds and I have completed 700 kettlebell swings. My hamstrings are killing me since I did the swings in addition to my workout but oh well. I cannot wait til the month is up to see the results. I am excited! I had a quick trip to the beach this past weekend for a vendor's fair. That was super fun. I am not sure if it was financially beneficial yet but its not a big deal if it wasn't. I had fun with great friends and that was worth it! I do have to admit that I am regretting my decision to work this Saturday. For one reason, its my cheat day so that sucks and two, the USMC Marathon is the next day so I will be searching all the trucks! OUCH! I volunteered because I figured Aldo could get a bath and I could get some paperwork done lol. Oh well. I will be heading to MD Sunday to train my friend, Rocky. He is a sweet, young husky and is very smart. He responds to training very well. I enjoy working with him and will be sad when his parents don't need me anymore. Anyway, have a great week!

Day three

Ok. Today is day three of the eating clean and 100KB challenge. I have completed 200KB swings and have lost 4 lbs! I will take it! I also threw a workout in there so it isn't just the KB swings. Looking forward to tomorrow. After work I am heading to an Origami Owl event in VA Beach. I hope it goes well. My bestie is going with me so we will head down Friday night and come back Saturday evening. I think I might complete my Saturday night with a trip to Shyndigz!

No mas!

I have said no mas before and here I am saying it again. I fell off the wagon a while ago and have not successfully gotten back on. So...enough is enough. Today, I got on the scale and made a mental note of my weight. I have my lunch with me and it is all set up for clean eating. I am done. I have also decided to do a kettlebell challenge. I just have to figure out if I should do the 100 a day or 330 a day challenge. I might do the 100 a day this month and do the 330 another month. We will see. I have to do the swings consistantly for 30 days. Knowing me, the 100 would be a better option since I am just getting back into this. I have made a workout log of sorts to track my KB swings starting today. I am giving myself a month. I need to lose 27lbs. Wish me luck. I will just have to be strong and keep on track!

CA Dreamin'

Well it has been quite a while since I have been here...seems to be what I write every time! LOL I just got back from a trip to California. It was amazing! I got to show my DH where I grew up, the school, etc. We also went to Lake Tahoe. I didn't want to come back. We stayed with family in the bay area which was great. It was nice getting to know everyone better and just hanging out with them. We went to Half Moon Bay and saw Mavericks, we went and saw a lot in San Francisco and even went to Sonoma. I wish that we could both get a job out there and somehow afford to live. At current prices, that isn't happening. Maybe we can win the lottery. It would be nice to be back in the area and be close to my cousins...there are a lot of them! I miss the area and everyone in it. Anyway, I am going to Disney World at the end of this week and I can't wait. Then I stay home for about a month lol. Which, ironically, is perfect. I just bought a new book to enhance my fitness level...it goes along with the 4 hour body way of eating. I have to hit that hard too because unfortunately I brought some pounds back with me from CA.

remember me?

Well, it has been a while! Lets recap what I haven't written about...September 11th came and went, I joined Origami Owl, ran the Richmond Color Run and there was mass shooting at the Navy Yard. That is a lot going on, not to mention the regular day to day stuff that has been happening. I won't really get into any of the other stuff and I will just focus on today. I have been trying to do that more often than not. It seems to keep the peace a bit more with everyone. Live for today. Indeed. Unfortunately, I am currently living for the future. At least, this week. I am going on vacation and I cannot wait. I am, however trying to focus on this week a little bit. I need to get to the gym every day I work. I have to stay on track, eat clean and keep my toxic friendship under control. I am going to try to play the way the toxic friend claims they want it. No texting or calling - absolutely no problem on my end. I can do it. Especially since they do not think I can. The trip next week is something I have been looking forward to for months. I just wish the weather was going to be a little bit warmer. 65 is a bit chilly for me. I guess I will just adjust my packing! Unfortunately that also means adjusting our plans a bit. At least we will be on vacation!

Not worth my time and effort

Yesterday was interesting. I have a friend who I have been friends with for about nine years now, we used to work out together and talk to each other daily. I pissed him off about a month ago. Too long and boring of a story to say how that all went down. I might have already written about it - who knows. Anyway, I decided enough was enough. I blocked his vehicle in his parking space with my work vehicle so he would have to say something to me. That went a lot worse than I had imagined it. I figured he would hang his head and let out a big sigh like he has in the past. Not so much. He not only did he dismiss me, he didn't have much to say except that he didn't do anything. Whatever. Does it need to come to that? I literally have two good guy friends that aren't speaking to me and they are both that juvenile that they have to point fingers. That blows my mind. Anyway, I vented on FB about it - not my proudest moment and ironically the wife of the other former friend "liked" that post. LOL I assume she thought I was talking about her husband...I wasn't. I'm sure with me not being considered a friend of these two guys, their wives will be happier which is a good thing. Anyone who doesn't want to talk to me, shouldn't! I don't have time to beg for someone to be my friend or take pity on me. Don't do me any favors! I attempted to be the bigger person on both accounts and it backfired in my face. White flag...I'm done with both of these guys! Have a nice life.

Labor Day

I have to be totally honest. I am actually glad the end of the summer is here. I had a shit summer. I had plans to go to the beach a lot, etc and that just didn't happen. I had a lot of fun, don't get me wrong, just didn't get to the shore as much as I had anticipated. I am trying to figure out if I am going to go train Rocky in a couple of weeks. It would be good money, the dog is a rock star and I can see a few friends to boot. I am just not sure I want to be sitting around the next morning waiting for traffic to die down. I hate that. Who knows. I could use the money since the CA trip is fast approaching. Speaking of the CA trip...I am so excited! I totally need to get away again. I am excited to see all the places I remember so fondly from childhood. It will be awesome if I get to see everyone I plan to while out there. Unfortunately I think it will be too cold to SUP while we are in Tahoe so I have to find a plan B. I was hoping my toxic ex-friend was going to text or call. How codependant is that?! They won't...I already know. They are one of those people that if you just fell off the face of the Earth, they wouldn't notice. You are insignificant to them. Bummer. Oh well. The sooner I accept that, the better things will be. I am excited that I am only working three days this week. That will be tough enough. I have a concert to go to on Friday. I plan to hit the gym T-Th so that will be great. I cannot wait to tell the trainers that I have lost five pounds. I am very happy about that. Back on track!!! ;)

day 6 - written on Wednesday, had trouble publishing

So, I am back! Today was day six of my workouts. I have been on my clean eating spree since the 20th and have lost a few lbs which is motivating. I have found a couple of new things to eat that are not boring me yet so that is a plus. I hope I keep it up without changing what I am doing too much since it is working. I have been back to my gallon a day (at least) of water too so that helps.
Work is going well so far this week. I have been busy but it hasn’t been terrible. Of course it is my Tuesday today so who knows. I think I might give Aldo a bath this week. I had planned on doing it today but it is raining so there is no point in that. I am going to go give him some play time in a few minutes. Poor little fella, he has been patient with me today, so he deserves some fun time.

Summer is winding down...

The weekend is much less hectic as originally planned.  My DH conducted a couple of special Pentagon tours on Saturday evening.  We went to dinner in Richmond then to Shyndigz for dessert.  It was nice.  This morning I actually slept in which is amazing.  We are supposed to go to the river today for the Wake ad Sun Fest but I am not sure we are getting moving any time soon.  I need to do some box jumps and burpees today and maybe some TRX too.  So far today, I have only been sitting on my laptop looking at Pinterest.  LOL.  I am trying to figure out what to cover my sear turtle tattoo on my back that I have had laser tattoo removal on.  I believe it is light enough to cover it now...at least, I hope it is.  I have been pinning ideas this morning and I even have my BFF looking lol.
Anyway, I have had a run in with my old toxic friends again which seemed terrible but I have realized they are blessings in disguise.  The old toxic friend deleted me from FB again.  That makes me laugh because we all know that FB isn't real life.  I messaged her and just wrote deleted again?  She replied it was time so I wished her well in her life and that is done.  For good.  The other toxic friend is the one I have written about before.  They lost their mind the other day when we were talking so I told them I was sick of the friendship rules they had...can only talk on their work days, no talking or texting when they are off.  Thats crap.  They have never been there for me yet I am alway there for them.  Pretty one sided.  They said oh yes...you are always the victim.  I'm not a victim, I just put myself in bad places that result in me getting used or stepped on.  Fuck that.  Yesterday they called me and said they didn't know how to handle me.  I told them they didnt and that was that.  Then they said we can talk at work but that was it.  Later I texted and said to forget talking at work.  It is clear to me they don't want to talk to me and there is no need to fake it at work.  DONE.  I am 100% better off without them.
Things like that make me realize how precious my real friends are and that how lucky I am to have them.

Ok so I am a little late

Well, its Friday and not Wednesday.  At least I finally got on here to blog!  I appreciate you popping by to read this so I will write myself a note so I can remember to blog! 
I have had a good week at work.  I cannot remember the last time I said that.  I am not sure if it is because I just got back from the beach or if it is because things are getting better here.  One of my biggest stresses at work has been delegated to an officer which has freed up a lot of my time during the day.  I have actually gone to the gym three days in a row which is amazing!  My legs and abs are killing me today but I am happy to have to say that.  Of course fitness is huge when it comes to stress reducing.  I need that!
I have also been eating clean this week.  Tomorrow is my scheduled cheat day but I am not entirely convinced I should do it.  I think I need to brush up on the 4 Hour Body since it has been a while since I followed it.  I plan to be as successful as I was the first time, if not more this time around.  I will be taking today off from the gym for recovery but I already received a workout for Saturday from the trainers at work. 
I have been researching stand up paddle boarding (SUP) lessons and rentals in the area and I cannot wait to take another class.  I was hoping to do it this weekend but it doesn't look like I will be able to.  I wanted my cousin to go with me but it is a little expensive for her.  I will rent for a while to make sure I utilize the board before purchasing one.  I plan to purchase one when I reach my goal weight which is approximately 20 lbs away.  I would also love to get one of my dogs to go with me!  We will see about that one, lol. 
I am getting really excited about our trip to California.  I am originally form there and my DH hasn't been to San Francisco and wants to see where I grew up.  We are going to Lake Tahoe while we are out there and that has got me super excited!  I found a cute place to stay right across from the lake and I even found a place to rent paddleboards!  Its just a month away but I cannot wait!
Anyway, I will attempt and not promise that I will blog again this weekend.  Until then...

Case of the Mondays

Just got back from the beach which was fabulous.  Had an opportunity to go train a dog and possibly see friends so I did...unfortunately my old toxic friend is beyond toxic again.  I really need to cut the cord for good.
I am actually writing this to remind myself...  The one sided friendship blows.  I give.  I am there.  I call.  I don't have any of that reciprocated.  I am there when my friend drives home from work to talk to them on the phone.  They never do this for me.  I am always available for texts or calls.  They are not.  They only want to talk or text on work days.  WTF?  What friendships have rules about texting or talking?! 
They make plans and cancel all the time.  Truthfully, I make the plans...they never invite me to do anything, ever.  Ouch.  I feel used.  But why do I continue?  Why do they have that power?  I hope that things will stay good and whamo I get the door slammed in my face and I get blamed for everything.  Its always me.  I do whatever to make them mad.  I try too hard.  DUH.  The sad thing is we used to be close.  Like real friends.  Actually, we might not have been now that I look back.  I just really let them step all over me back then, I guess.  Awful.  So, today I cut the cord so to speak.  They won't care or look back, I know.  That actually hurts my feelings a bit.  I care.  I will miss them, even if they are toxic.  I do know it is better this way.  I know I will be happier in the long run.  They will continue to be miserable as always.  Thanks to the stupid iphone 5, I can't get rid of their number - it deletes but when you go to text anyone with the first letter the same, their name comes up.  AWFUL.  How can I get rid of them if they won't delete?
Yes I have a case of the Mondays.  I didn't until the "friend" was a douche.  I also realize that tomorrow is D day for me. I am D-one with this laziness.  I am back on track with my diet and going to the gym.  I have a month til we vacation in CA and I want to look my best.  I cannot wait.  I will blog more often (yeah right) to stay on track.  Guess I will check in Wednesday?

Vacation in OBX coming to an end

We went to Southern Shores in NC for a few days/nights.  We are lucky enough to be invited to stay with my friends' family.  Well, we went to the beach, did some shopping and we ate.  And ate.
Lisa and I took a stand up paddle boarding class and that was amazing.  I am hooked.  I wish I had $2K I didn't know what to do with so I could buy a board and needed equipment.  Maybe next year.
Today we went shopping which was fun, we went to Manteo and then ate lunch at The Black Pelican.
Everyone had seafood for dinner, so I took a nap.  Unfortunately for me, I didn't eat anything.  Bill and I went out to get snowballs which made his day and then came home to eat something.  I made toaster pastry and then proceeded to drop said pastry on the floor.  AWESOME.  UGH.  Typical.  So...now I am a grump and thinking about just going to bed and hoping I wake in a better mood.  I am not sure what time we are leaving in the morning but I hope we can hit a couple of places I didn't get to go yet.
I'm looking forward to seeing my puppies.  I miss them.
Its such a bummer that I have to work Tuesday.  I am not looking forward to that at all.  Aldo comes home Sunday and I am looking forward to seeing his silly face.
On a more personal note, I am very disappointed in myself.  I have continued my downward spiral and I am not excited to see the scale Sunday.  I have got to stop this insanity.  I have to start eating the way I am supposed to.  I have to get my ass to the gym.  I have made a deal with myself that when I get to my goal weight I will get myself a SUP.  Not once pound earlier.  Enough is enough.  My pants that I was so excited I got into are crazy tight and most likely would be painful to button.  LOL.  Its not funny.  I am really shocked I went back to my lazy ways so easily.  I mean, really?  I have been good and going to the gym regularly for over a year and bam...gone?  WTF?!  What am I doing?!
I hope to find my focus.  I hope to get back on track.  I hope to get back to the gym and get strong again.  I feel lost.  Its like I can't have balance in everything.  If I am balanced in my health, my eating and my workouts I seem to be emotionally unbalanced.  If my regular life is balanced, my health is in the crapper.  I need to find balance in all things.  Time to focus.
.

I'm back!

Ok so I totally suck and remembering to come here and blog!  Its not like I really have much to say but I should be better about this!
So...Busch Gardens was a blast!  What a great day!  I cannot wait to go back.
I am still waiting to hear about the TSA process.  It will be a while, I am sure.
Nothing else is really going on.  Work is still not great but it might get better soon.  Furloughs are over at the end of next week so I hope to get back in the gym at least 3 days a week.  After my shift today I am off for a week so I am super happy about that.
While on leave I am going to take a stand up paddle boarding lesson.  That will be amazing.  I hope I like it so I can continue doing it in RVA and maybe add that to my fitness routine.  I also plan to run often while on leave.  I need to get my body in better shape.  I slacked off a lot and it is showing!  I miss my trainers too!
What else is going on?  I went to a great concert the other night...Fastball, Vertical Horizon, Gin Blossoms, Sugar Ray and Smash Mouth.  Flashback to the 90s!  They were great and we had an awesome night!
Anyway, even though I don't have many people checking out this blog, I plan to blog while on vacation so lets see if I can do it!

So much for Sunday lol

Well, I was a little busy on Sunday but here I am on Tuesday.  Work, again, sucks.  Luckily I just applied for TSA again in Richmond.  I hope I get it.  I have to get out of here...this place is CANCER.
Enough about work.  I had a great weekend and of course I need to post a pic of my tattoo! 

Josh at Salvation Tattoo in Richmond, VA hooked me up with my balance lol.

Not a whole lot else is going on.  I am working evenings so my workout schedule is screwed and so is my diet.  Its hard to bring food for everything when you are unsure if you are going to be near the office or stuck on post.  I am only working three days this week so it shouldn't be that bad.

Looking forward to Thursday, I will be going to Busch Gardens.  Cannot wait.

TGIF!!!

I am so glad it is Friday.  I mean seriously glad.  Work has sucked (as usual).  But...I won't get into that.
I received my MRI results the other day and I do not have Keninbock's disease.  I have a few things wrong with it - I have a negative ulnar variance (one bone in my arm is shorter than the other), I have torn cartilage, I have fluid, arthritis and two cysts.  Awesome, huh?  LOL.  My doctor said that if I were her sister, she would tell me to live with the pain.  I guess that is what I will do.  I mean it is my wrist...that is MAJOR surgery in my book.  Until it gets really bad, if ever, I will just deal with it.
I am happy to report that I have been eating clean!  I cannot wait until tomorrow which is my cheat day lol.  I am going out of state to visit my in-laws and I am bringing cupcakes!  It will be nice to see everyone!
Tonight after work I am going to RVA to get another tattoo.  Another?!?!  Yes.  I am going to get the word, balance, tattooed on my wrist.  At least I hope it is on my wrist.  My wrist might be too small, so we will see.  The backup plan is up my forearm.
Anyway, I better get back to doing what I do.  Have a great day and I should be on again this Sunday!

yikes

So the last time I was on here I mentioned the physical therapy appt and going to my doctor about my wrist.  Holy crap!  So the physical therapy is going to be great but difficult, but it seems like it will work which is excellent.  The wrist is another issue all together.  There are two possibilities there...some abnormality and a disease.  Awesome.  Either way it sucks and there is nothing to do about them.  So my doc said I needed an MRI after she took like 5 x-rays (ouch $$$).  She said it wasn't an emergency yet the MRI place called me that day to set it up so that made me nervous.  The MRI was yesterday.  I had to go alone which really was awful and I had to lay on my stomach with my arm forward which killed my shoulder after the 30 mins in the tube.  My follow up appt is tomorrow to find out what the MRI results are.  Fingers crossed for abnormality and not disease.  Keinbock's disease to be exact.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kienbock's_disease
Other than that, everything is ok.  I told the people at work that I am no longer doing their job.  I told them they have to pull their weight.  I also told my supervisor it was unfair that he allowed them to do nothing and me to do everything.  I just have to keep from doing things that aren't mine to do.  I just need to leave it, even if it goes undone. 
That should help with my stress level.  I'm starting back in the pool today too so hopefully that helps too!  My massage was great too and I think I will start going and getting those more often.  My massage therapist suggested yoga but I am not sure I am coordinated enough lol.
Anyway, have a great day!  I hope to be back on Thursday with my MRI results.  Positive thoughts please!!!

This is the end

Holy crap have I said this a bunch of times.  NO MAS!  I cannot believe I have been eating like shit for over a month.  I also cannot believe I am still fitting in my clothes (thankfully).  I have done major damage, though.  My stress is through the roof, I'm lazy and down and have been having headaches.  Today is it.
I am done.
I have to stop the madness.  The downward spiral has to end.  I still have that 10 lbs to go and they have got to go!  I'm done with excuses and everything else.  I only have myself to blame and I am done.  Time to get serious again and get back on the wagon. 
Tomorrow is Monday.  I have a massage scheduled and I have to see the doctor about my foot and go to physical therapy so it is a good day to start new.  I will get back on my clean eating and kick the bad habits.  I will work out everyday this week and cheat day will again be on Saturdays only.  No more moving it for any reason.  Only on Saturdays.  No three day cheat days etc...
When I succeed I will reward myself...there is a purse I want and I will not get it unless I maintain this new plan and reach this goal.  :)  I can do it.

Racing etc

Ok so I competed in my first SCCA Autocross event last weekend.  What a disaster.  First off, never have your other half try to teach you anything.  LOL.  That was a mess.  Once we got through a couple of rough laps it was actually really fun and I did ok.  I took like 3 seconds off of my lap and I didn't hit any cones all day.  It was raining too so that added to the excitement.  It was fun.  I have to remember next time to bring a few things...bug repellent, sunshade of some sort, sunscreen that isn't expired lol and a couch - just kidding on that last one.  It was a long day, though.  I can totally see how that racing can be addicting but expensive.  New tires, a helmet, etc...it adds up!
What else is going on...work is still stressing me.  My codependence is the issue.  I have to just do my job and not everyone elses.  Its terrible.  I just know if I don't do it, it won't get done.  I just need to let that happen.  Let the chips fall where they may. 
I have a massage scheduled for Monday and I cannot wait.  Like a tool, I volunteered to work tomorrow.  What the hell was I thinking?  Crazy.  I get double time...we are furloughed the next day so I guess it makes sense to get some extra money before it dries up.  I should bring my gym clothes in and go to the gym tomorrow too but I am sure I won't.  Lazy.  I know I will give my dog a bath while I am at work so that will be good.

Yikes - fell off the wagon. Me?! Yep! Me!

Well, I should have kept up with this blog.  I think it would have helped me a lot.  I am stressed beyond belief.  Not only can I not sleep, I haven't been able to go to the gym regularly and all I want to do it eat carbs and sit on my butt.  Not good. 
Don't get me wrong, its not all doom and gloom but I have been Debbie Downer more often than not lately.  Wow- so I have been off the wagon for almost a month.  AWFUL.  I guess on and off.  I have gone to the gym at least 5 times or my gym membership would be turned off.  I know I went last week and beat the crap out of the heavy bag.  Thank goodness for that!  It was that or I had to start fight club. 
Work is crap.  I wish I could quit.  Quit and walk out.  But then what?  How would I pay for stuff?  I would have to get a job and how do I say I left the one I have now?  I got mad and walked out after 15+ years?  That would go well.  LOL.  My awesome co-worker that left me is who I am blaming for my stress.  I am doing everyones' job now.  The reason?  I'm codependent.  If I didn't do it, nobody would.  I am sure of it.  The worst part is that nobody else is being held accountable for the work they aren't doing!
ADHD time...lets change subjects
To add to that, my toxic friend who was back in my life for a couple of weeks told me I am off putting and conceided.  Awesome.  Sad thing is I had to look those words up lol.  I am sure he doesn't realize it but by definition, he is actually correct.  I am both of those things to him.  LOL.  I am still offended though.
Let me try to focus on the positive.  One of the officers I recruited 100 years ago invited me and my other half to an awards ceremony in GA - he was receiving the Honor Graduate of the Year Award and of course if he thought we were important enough to remember after leaving this job 3 years ago, we were going.  Operation turn & burn started at 0200 and ended at 2300 - longest day ever but meant the world to him and his mom who attended.  It meant the world to me too.  It meant a lot that an officer thought of me like that.  He never even worked for me but was sweet enough to invite me to this amazing day when he was being recognized.  I was touched.  I think I lasted at work the next day for like two hours then almost crashed my vehicle on the way home lol.  I slept til 6pm once I got home.
I have to write about my racing experience too...later today....
until then...have  agreat day!

Holy cheat weekend

Well my cheat day turned into a cheat weekend.  Not good.  I only went to the gym once last week and I ate like shit all weekend.  OMG the trainers are going to kick my ass this week!  My plan is to go to the gym Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.  I hope to get a workout in on Wednesday too since I have physical therapy...if I can get my x-ray from my podiatrist in time.
So my cousin graduated Friday and we went to eat after...ate bad.  Saturday night was my anniversary...ate bad.  Today was my cousin's grad party...ate bad again but all day.  AWFUL!  I am going to be dragging ass at the gym.  The worst part is I am going to tell them to kick my ass lol.  So...wish me luck.
Anyway, it is way past my bed time so I better crash.  I hope you had a great weekend!!!!

Well, today is my 11th anniversary!  Its amazing how much I have changed...I will post pics in a minute but please realize this change in my appearance has not taken 11 years.  Today is just an easy day to look back since the wedding is probably the most photographed event in ones life.  A couple of years ago I decided to purchase the wedding dress I originally wanted but was told my arms were too fat for...thanks mom.  And I wonder why I am obsessed with my arms?  Anyway, I took a pic of me in the dress last night and put it next to a pic of me on my big day (literally) and it is crazy.
Here is the side view: on instagram:
http://instagram.com/p/aBaFftAwaV/

and here is the regular one...

Amazing how much has changed lol...mainly wihtin the last year but still.  I am shocked. 
Anyway, I attended my cousin's high school graduation last night.  I am happy for her since she got such a high gpa and she is going to attend VCU.  I am hoping that she will have an amazing four years like I did while in college.  She will meet lots of people, hopefully fall in love a few times and learn a lot about herself and life in general.  I wouldn't trade my college years for anything. 
I think today might end up being a lazy day.  My dh works tonight and all weekend so I am taking my other cousin out to dinner tonight since it is her anniversary too.  :)
Have a great weekend!  Congrats to the class of 2013!

what a day

Ok so I didn't get to the gym today which is not good at all.  I haven't been since Thursday.  I received my furlough letter today.  Awesome...I drop major coin on a Macbook and now I am going to have less pay starting in July.  Damn.
I'm so glad I am off tomorrow and I don't have any appointments.  I just want to sleep!  I need it.  I wil probably get on my bike if the weather is good enough.  If not, I will be running or doing something!  Thursday and Friday at the gym no matter what.
Next week I have to hit the gym Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.  I have to!  I have seen a lot of changes lately especially in my legs.  They have got to go!  Unfortunately I believe I will be in need of some plastic surgery when I hit my goal.  I have some skin that needs to get out of here.  I don't think it will just spring back lol.  I'm a little old for that.
Anyway, my cousin's HS is this weekend and the cake place my aunt was hoping to buy a cake from is booked.  No offense to her but DUH!  Its a wedding weekend and graduation.  Its not like she just found out that she is graduating.  Lol.
I'm sure she will get something good from somewhere.
Anyway, I am going to go.  Have a great night!!!

What a weekend!  It was great!  My cousin came and hung out, we didn't do anything exciting but it was nice having her around.  We went to my friend's gradutation party on Saturday and had a great time.  Sunday we recovered and yesterday we continued recovering.  I haven't been to the gym since Thursday!
I bought myself a laptop since mine was from 6 or 7 years ago and is super slow.  I bought a macbook!  I am super excited about that.  I know it is a lot of money but I would rather have something that will last.
What else is new...
Not much lol.  I need to tighten up on my eating clean.  I was AWFUL this weekend.  I am not going to beat myself up about it since I am perfect the majority of the time.  I am looking forward to this weekend...my cousin's HS graduation and party.  My cheat day will be moved to Sunday since that is when her party is.  She is getting a cake from RVA's Shyndigz!  Awesome!!!  I'm going with my aunt to pick it up on Saturday.  I might have to grab a treat for Sunday morning too. 
Well, have a great day!  I hope everyone had an awesome weekend!

good news

I went to the doctor today to get my Benjamin Button treatment and we got to talking about that surgery on my foot, etc.  She freaked.  She wants to treat me - for my foot.  She said surgery shouldn't be an option, let alone the only one.  So...what have I got to lose?  She also gave me some advice to get over my plateau on my weight loss.  She rocks.
Yesterday was 100 burpees and 100 TRX rows...30 mins.  Needless to say, my HRV says I am in the amber or yellow today.  I am resting so I can kill it tomorrow and Friday. 
The pool opens this weekend so I am super excited - maybe this year I will actually go!  LOL
What else is new?  Oh!  I took my second week in a row of my progress pictures.  Its unreal!  I am actually seeing a difference even though the scale is not my friend.  No worries.  I have a few runs coming up and plan to keep going to work out with the trainers and sticking to my clean eating with one day off.  It is working!  I have told a few people about it but I only think one listened.  He is doing amazing!  Oh well..can only direct people to the path, they might still choose a different one.  :)
Have a great week!  I have to get my uniform ready for tomorrow.

On a roll

Ok so I am back.  I don't have a lot to add but I actually worked out at home today.  Let me tell you, that does not happen often.  I did some pulls on the TRX, some pistol squats, burpees, lunges, butterfly crunches, atomic crunches and I think that might be it.  Good stuff though.  Kept moving no breaks in the action and paid myself $5 in the workout jar.  I feel pretty awesome about that. 
I am looking forward to getting back to the gym tomorrow at work.  I miss the guys when I don't see them.  I worked out with them M-W last week, I believe.  I am planning on M, T, Th, F this week.  I know they have the Murph on Wednesday but I am not taking part of that.  I have two appts and I cannot reschedule them. 
I am going to start doing the ice bath/cold shower parts of the 4 hour body protocol.  I have done this a couple of times but it is time to get serious.  Apparently it helps speed up fatloss.  I am all about that...its almost summer.  I also just ordered a new scale, new kettlebell and some new supplements.  Fingers crossed these catapult me into fat burn mode.  :)
That's about all I have.  I have to get my food cooked for my lunches for the week and some last minute stuff done.  Have a great Sunday!!!

Been a while

So its been a while since I have been on here.  I have no excuse.  I'm actually not even sure what I wrote about last time but I know that last weekend I ran the Color Run in Baltimore and that was actually more fun than I had anticipated!  Saw some friends and it was a great weekend!  I have signed up for the same run in RVA in September so that should be fun too. 
Work still sucks.  Seems to get worse daily.  I need to win the lottery so I can quit lol.  Guess I should play, huh?  I really need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I thought I had that figured out but...I guess I was wrong.  I'd really love to learn Reiki or counseling but I am just not sure.  I will figure it out eventually.  I'm sure I would love it but recently I have doubted myself as far as being someone people listen to about fitness, etc.  My cousin who runs marathons and the iron man asked me for workouts!  This made me so proud.  She even got back to me after doing one of them!  I thought this might be something I can help people with...like a life coach or something.  Recently one of my friends seemed to have fallen off the wagon on her weight loss so I gave her some advice, trying to help her get back on track.  She decided to hire a life coach that seems to have given her the same food plan I suggested.  Ouch.  So, maybe my future as a life coach isn't going to happen...that's her thing, not mine.  If I decide on doing it, I am sure I will be great.  I have had a major journey of my lifestyle change...I have found myself.  I think that is very important.  As written in the top five regrets of the dying,"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself and not the life others expected of me." That really resignates with me.
Change of subj...
Speaking of diets and journeys, I have been sticking to my food plan, eating clean 6 days a week and I am seeing a lot of change in my body.  This past Wednesday I started taking progress pics again and just looking at the last ones I took approximately 2 months ago, there are a lot of changes.  I need to see that - since the scale is a poor measurement and I am too lazy to break out the tape measure lol.  I am still working out hard and giving 100% effort no matter how difficult it is.  The proof is in the pudding!  I got my butt back in those high school size jeans I am proud to say.  I am also within 6 lbs of the goal my doctor set for my weight which means 16 lbs from my goal.  I have noticed I am getting very aware of certain parts of my body that haven't gone away...very little things are bugging me which is just frustration.  When that happens I have to get the beginning pics out and look at the amazing transformation that has already happened.  My body image needs help.  I need to love and accept myself as I am and just continue to improve.
Speaking of loving and accepting, I have started meditating...sort of.  I have a little mantra (if you will) that I say and I use this breathing technique I learned from www.paigevaldiserri.com.  She is amazing.  She also has and FB page called Paige Valdiserri Empowers.  She really does.  Anyway, those together seem to really shut my mind up and let me focus which isn't easy.  Between my daily affirmation I write, this blog and my "meditation", I am actually doing much better with most things.  I still have a ways to go with the body image but I am super confident now which I never had been before so I might be closer than I think to fixing what I see.  I actually still grab XL shirts sometimes.  Hello!?  McFly!?!?  The last shirt I bought was a small lol. 
Ok...well I think I am pretty caught up.  I hope everyone has a good Saturday night.  Maybe I will be back tomorrow, who knows.
I will leave you with this...
I am in control of my world and my body.  I am responsible for myself.   I release this unnecessary stress and allow my body and mind to relax into a comfortable state of being.  I am calm and relaxed.  I have a positive and optimistic mental attitude.

Crazy week

This week was nuts.  Work was crazy, the pollen is killing me, I lost a few inches and its the weekend!
Work is bananas...I am going to apply for a couple of different jobs.  Its unreal that it has come to this but it blows my mind that nobody seems to care about our unit.
I bought my will run for cupcakes shirt for the color run next Saturday and it was too big...it was a medium.  What!?  I know, right?  So...I bought a small and its perfect!  I cannot believe that!  So exciting.  I also ordered a Rogue plyo box today to do box jumps and such.  I am so excited that my little gym is becoming awesome!
Pollen.  Ok, I have NEVER had an issue with pollen before but my throat is killing me!  My sweetie is having the same issue.  Awful.  I need to find meds that work for this!!!
Hit the gym today and they kicked my butt!  We did 50 butterfly sit ups, 50 lunges, 50 burpees, 50 atomic crunches and 50 sit ups.  OUCH.  My abs were cramping!  LMAO.  Hope they worked lol.  All those in 25 mins.  Ugh.  I wonder if my HRV will have me in the red tomorrow.  I know according to bodymedia, I burned over 1200 calories.  Tomorrow is cheat day and I cannot wait!  I have cupcakes and chocolate and we are having pizza at work for the K9 first aid class.  YUMMO.  I just hope I can stay awake lol.  Carb coma!
Anyway, sorry to be so short...just wanted to say hi and catch up!  BTW...I even wore a tank top to the gym today...its amazing how quick your body transforms!

Its been a while since I have been on here.  As usual, had a busy week at work.  A few other things have been going on too. 
So I was interviewed by CNN the other day at work and I actually got a minute of air time so that was pretty cool.  Didn't get to the gym at all since we are so short so that sucked!  Luckily I had physical therapy for the last time so that counted towards my fitness goals for the week. 
I have been missing that ex friend of mine, the toxic one.  I think it is more a codependent thing though, since I feel like I can help them.  They are miserable all the time.  But...then I realize I am not even close to being miserable and it would suck to be around someone who is.  Strange, I know.  I just wonder how they really are and if things are better.  Oh well.  Changed phone numbers, etc...  I guess I will never know.
I am thinking about looking into lifecoaching.  My friend is one and she is amazing and I am really interested it doing something different.  I can't stay where I am.  Its literally killing me. 
Anyway, I am going to RVA today to see one of my besties and I am really looking forward to seeing her and her family.  I've adopted them as my family lol. 
Anyway, I don't have too much to write about, just wanted to check in to say I am still here! 
I will post a pic from the CNN interview...

Last night I had dinner with a college friend and boy did I over do it.  It was allowed, since it was my cheat day but yikes...I slept really well last night because of it.  Carbs totally kick my ass lol.
I am finally getting motivated...its like 1pm lol.  I am going to get some errands run and try to clean up my closet and the master bathroom.  I'm so sick of the clutter....  I am going to run to the store and get some food for the foodbank collection pick up on Wednesday.  Its the least I can do, right?!  I also need to find some cute strappy sandals for my new dresses and maybe a light sweater too.  Other than that, I just need to pick up more water and a dry erase board for my little gym space.  Today is 75 squats I think...but I might throw in some skaters and some kb swings.  HRV had me at 72 and in the green so I need to do something.  Tomorrow I am back to the gym and PT after work.  Sweet! 
Happy Sunday to everyone!

Crazy week

Well, its easy to say that it has been a crazy week.  I know everyone in the US was feeling the stress and anxiety of being terrorized.  We had extra shifts, extra posts, etc...  No time for the gym or anything else, really.  Glad all of that is over and my heart goes out to everyone affected by the incident.  Thank you to all the first responders and their families and to those hard working four leggers for keeping everyone safe.
I would be lying if I didn't say I was a little scared to run the 5K in Baltimore.  I am scared.  I don't want to die, or be injured by hate or be a witness or first responder to another terrorist attack.  Once was enough for a lifetime.  I realize that means they win.  Sadly, I am ok with that particular victory.  I'm not saying I won't participate in another public race, I just think Bmore is a big city and a fairly reasonable target of opportunity.  Needless to say, I am on the fence about it.
Other than terrorism, a few things have been happening.  My favorite coworker that sits next to me got a new job in NY and I am so sad about it.  He and I worked really well together - we were like co-captains of our K9 team.  Now I feel I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  I really need to make sure that doesn't happen.
I ordered a TRX for my little gym in the basement.  I am so excited.  It should get here Wednesday.  Now I just have to get an additional kettlebell and get rid of that elliptical.  Its amazing how things change.  I cannot wait to get in the gym next week!
Oh another good thing that happened is I ordered a dress online and once I got it...it is too big!  I will have to go to get it altered since they only have bigger sizes left.  I cannot believe a medium was too big.  Awesome.  If that doesn't keep you on track, I don't know what will lol.
I had my last tattoo appt last night with my artist, before he moves away.  He finished my arm piece.  He's such a great guy.  I'm very happy for him...anyone that gets to move to San Diego is beyond fortunate.  I hope to go see him out there one day.  I felt extra special today - he put pics of my tattoos on his instagram.  :)  Funny how little things can make someone's day.

Heading out with a college friend later today.  Looking forward to it.  I also signed up for a squat challenge so I better go knock those 70 squats out before I forget. 
Have a great day!  Hope to ramble some more tomorrow.

Sunday...not so exciting

Well, I have been alone this weekend with my other half being a race car driver so today was a bit boring.  Yesterday I blogged about and actually after the blogging I did some more work around the house.  I installed my TRX mount in the ceiling (into the joist) and not the drywall.  That was a mess and very interesting.  I hung up the new mirror in the gym area too.  While I was measuring and putting the anchors in the wall, my basenji, Crumb, was sizing up the basenji in the mirror.  He started growling and pawing at it so I figured I better hurry before he puts his head through the mirror lol. 

This morning the HRV said I was in the yellow so I should have worked out but I had lots of nothing to do instead.  I finished laundry, filled up the SUV with goodwill donations, cleaned the shower and made lunch for the week.  I know I did more than that but I just can't think of what.  Anyway, I watched some Kitchen Cousins on HGTV and tweeted the guys about some cabinet knobs they used in one of the designs.  I am happy to say they tweeted me the store info!  Exciting!  Oh...now I remember.  I had a couple of hours of my life sucked away by Pinterest lol. 
Anyway so I am pretty bored at this point and I think I might resort to a nap.  Sad since I should workout.  Not feeling it today.  My legs are still sore from last week and my stupid foot is killing me.  Maybe if I get an hour in, I will wake up and my sweetie will be home.  Fingers crossed.  Have a good Sunday!!!

Weekend. What to do?

Well here we are again.  Its the weekend and my cheat day for my diet.  I got up early and ate a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich with hashbrowns at WH with Bill.  After that I went home and slept.  Carbs really make me sleepy lol.  I also took melatonin last night, so that might be the issue.  I slept great!  I also gave some to my dogs and that allowed me to sleep uninterupted which was quite lovely.
There are a lot of projects for the house on my wish list.  I am not sure if I posted about it or not but in our house, we have stained stairs, including the risers.  I hate the risers and I want them painted white.  Well, I don't really think I thought about the money and time issue of stripping and sanding and painting and repainting etc.  My friend, Lisa, owns Sweetbriar Designs (www.sweetbriardesigns.com) so I asked her to cut me some vinyl and I applied it to the risers!  They look amazing.  I might have already posted this and if I did, I am really sorry.  I haven't taken my ADHD medicine yet today.

Other projects I have been thinking about are the kitchen backsplash, kitchen table painting, a small deck, extend our fence, purchase and install TRX in my gym area of the basement and I want to get new flooring in the laundry room and a new washer and dryer.  That last room will probably never happen lol.  We still need to replace our sectional in the basement!  It just seems that things are never ending, you know?  I still have numerous prints to frame and hang and I would eventually like to replace the cabinet pulls lol.  I guess I should lay off the HGTV for a bit so we can catch up!

This past week wasn't as stressful at work which is great.  Reality is setting in about my coworker leaving which is not only sad since I will miss him dearly but that will just make it that much harder at work.  I know I will get through it, it will be tough, though. 

I went to the gym three days this week and I had PT too.  Saying my quads hurt is an understatement! They are killing me.  The good news is my HRV number is like 74 which means I am in realitvely good shape!  I need to get on my bicycle and start riding.  That might help trim my legs up.  My overall fitness goal is to fit in a certain size and stay there.  I had been that size for like 2 weeks and then blew it.  I am almost back there again.  I actually want to fit in a certain size uniform at work but that is a while out still.  For my 40th bday I want to look like an entirely different person and I want people to say that there is no way I am 40 and I want them to mean it.  LOL

Well, I better hit the shower.  I need to get some stuff to goodwill and go buy a mirror for my gym.  Have a great day!  Go out and enjoy this beautiful weather!

Good and Bad

Well, Tuesday I had my annual PT test at work which I was nervous about.  Nervous only because I wanted to perform better than I have in past years.  I took 2 seconds off of my agility run, gained 2 inches in my sit and reach, took 2 minutes off my 1.5 mile run and went up 40 lbs on my bench press.  I improved on all parts!  AWESOME!
Now the bad...
I received a call from Salvation Tattoo yesterday and was informed that my appointment in May was canceled.  Bummer.  That means my artist is moving to California sooner than anticipated.  Now I am not sure what to do with my current sleeve project.  He has done a lot of it but the main part won't get completed at next week's appt.  Do I have someone else fill it or do I walk around with it incomplete until I can go to CA?  The second idea seems nuts to me.  I just want it to look like the same person did it, you know?  I am freaking out a bit about this.  Tattoo artists are hard to come by...at least once you find a really good one that you trust. 
Another round of bad news hit me earlier this week too...my coworker that I share the weight of the section with is leaving the agency.  I am a mess about that.  The two of us would normally be the ones tasked with everything and now that he is leaving, I fear all that will be given to me.  Ugh.  I hope that isn't the case but I won't hold my breath.
Sorry to be doom and gloom there for a minute but wow - those are pretty big situations for me right now.
On the bright side, I am going to the gym today and tomorrow and that always makes me feel better.  I had physical therapy last night but my HRV said I am in the green and ready to kill it at the gym.  Sounds like a plan.
Have a great Thursday!!!

Rant

I really apologize but I have to get some stuff off my chest.  I am so over certain people.  Thank goodness nobody I know is really reading this lol.  What is that old saying...fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?  How about fool me a third time and a am a f*cking idiot.  Someone at my job who I thought was my friend going on like 8 years now apparently was never my friend.  Just all about themselves.  I won't get into the juicy details but I swear if I allow this person to wiggle back into my life I am a moron.  All they do is hurt me.  I f*cking hate them!  I said goodbye to them today for the last time.  Good riddance!
ahhhh...thank you for letting me get that out.  The rest of my weekend was great and work for the most part was good today.  I'm so glad I got to the gym.  We only did push ups (5 ways) and abs but I broke a sweat so it was awesome.
Well, I am going to leave it at this...
ps- if anyone is reading, I hope it is that person or their spouse LMAO

Whew! What a crazy week!

Ok so I had to rush to the concert the other night...  The show was great!  The following night I saw Green Day and that was a great show too!  Needless to say I needed the weekend to rest lol.  I got a few things done around the house and then had to pick up my mom who is visiting in state this week.  We went to Richmond and ran all over the place.  It was fun!  It was my "cheat day" for my diet and we really did it up lol.  Today I took her back to Northern VA but I will see her again Tuesday and Wednesday. 
I have been thinking about moving north because traffic has been getting worse and worse but I realized a couple of things looking online at real estate.  Houses are crazy expensive where we would want to be and they are all under our standards, at least needing major reno to look anything like our current house.  The other thing is that I would really miss Richmond.  We have been going to Richmond more lately, finding new cute shops and eateries and I really like it!  It is a beautiful city.  Don't get me wrong, there are some not so beautiful spots but that is true for any city.  I really think the River City is out escape from the BS in NOVA.
I'm sure we will stay put and we will just have to suck it up when it comes to the traffic.  No biggie.  I have been doing that for 15 years now.
I was also thinking of a new career.  I know...its a little late in life to be changing it up.  Its just getting so stupid where I currently work.  It makes me want to start something new.  I wish I could buy a Starbucks.  I totally would open one at my exit and we would make a killing.  Maybe I will go back to school and get another degree.  I would love to do a couple of things, I would just have to find out how long it would take me and the cost involved.  Who knows.  I have been working so hard on making me the best I can that I think maybe my job might have to change.  Don't get me wrong, working with dogs is the best job ever!  Its just the political bullshit that is making me hate going to work.  I hate that it has come to that.  Luckily I workout at the gym in my building so I have to go there in order to get my sweat on.  Sometimes it is the only reason I go in at all.  Yikes.  That's awful!
Anyway, I hope that everyone had a great weekend.  Its too beautiful outside to be sitting here on the computer so I am going to head out and enjoy. 

Ok so work has been killing me!  I have been STRESSED out - but I am going to a concert tonight and actually leaving now!  I hope this takes care of my stress!!!

Unreal

Friday I didn't work out again since the HRV said I was still in the red.  A racecar in the red is not good lol.  I feel like I need to do something!  Well, instead, I got my nails done and my hubby and I went to Northern VA to meet up with my good friend from Indiana for dinner.  It was so great to see him.  The last time he saw me I weighed 25 more lbs so that was quite a change.  We were in horrible traffic ont he way home but it was more than worth it to see my buddy.
Today I was in the red AGAIN.  I am almost thinking I won't even check my HRV tomorrow so I can go to the gym lol.  I read up on it and most people in the red for a few days got sick so maybe I am fighting a cold.  Who knows.
Other than that, it looks like I will be going to a couple of concerts this week.  I am goint to see Green Day for sure Thursday night.  I might also be going to see Maroon 5 which would be amazing, on Wednesday night.  Fingers crossed on that one.  Today was pretty good, I finished the chairs in the kitchen, caught up on laundry, went grocery shopping and picked up some stuff from BJs.  The only thing left I have to tackle for the weekend is make the carrots and dip for tomorrow.  We weren't feeling like traveling so we are going to my aunt's house for Easter.  I am looking forward to it.
Anyway, happy Easter!  I hope you are having a great weekend!

stressed out of my mind!

This has been the most stressful week at work.  Actually I was going to post that on Monday lol so that should tell you something.
There is a ton of crap going on at work.  I won't bore you with details but it is awful. 
Anyway, so the trainers weren't working Monday because of the snow so I didn't get to the gym but I did go to physical therapy which kicked my butt for a change.  It was a good session and I was tired!  Went to bed early and checked my HRV reading in the am (Tues) and it said I was in amber (recovery) which means I can go to the gym but to not really kill myself lol.  I met up with the trainers and I completed a ladder of burpees, box jumps, pull ups and a short jog.  I was beat.  Wednesday, I was further into the amber so still in recovery so I should take it easy since it was two days in a row.  I actually didn't have time to go to the gym so that worked out.  I had to leave early for a podiatrist appointment anyway. 
The podiatrist gave me some bad news.  He had treated me for my heel spur and it has been awesome but my other foot was giving me trouble but in a different area.  Apparently I have an extra bone in my foot and it is against the posterior tibial tendon.  This is the tendon that holds your foot so you can walk.  Awesome.  As of right now I need surgery.  We are trying to fix it with a custom insert.  I will find out if it is working in a month.  If not, I can live with the pain for a bit while I save up some leave since I will be out for a minimum of 3 weeks.  If it was my left foot it would be less but...I have to drive so that sucks for me.
Yesterday work was really awful so I didn't get to the gym or to my physical therapy appointment so I just relaxed.  I am guessing that the stress is a factor with the HRV readings because this morning (Thurs), the HRV reading had me in the red which means I shouldn't do anything.  Yikes.
So...here I am, venting to try to help lol.
Oh and since my tattoo is still on the mend, I haven't been able to use my bodymedia.  I wish that wasn't the case since it would have been interesting to see what the stress was doing to my already little amount of sleep.  Anyway, have a good one!

Lazy Saturday.  Not because I am trying to be lazy, but because my husband is sleeping.  He works nights.  I really want to get some stuff done around the house but I do not want to make a lot of noise.  I realize he would most likely sleep through the noise, but I do not want to be rude.
Haven't been to the gym in a few days and I am feeling the need to get to it.  I might have to go for a run or something later - I'm antsy. 
I went to my third tattoo appt the other night.  Third in a current project, actually.  Funny enough, my arm is swollen and bruised which has never happened to me before.  I am hoping to get the project done before my artist moves to California.  I have a few little projects I hope he can tackle but I am not sure if he can prior to moving.  Maybe I will have to fly out to CA.

I am currently in redesigning mode around my house.  I was sick of the clutter so I have been getting rid of a lot.  I got new dishes in my favorite color, light blue, which will replace my dark red fiestaware dishes from before.  I am also going to recover the fabric seats of my kitchen table which I have done before but have found that no matter what, the cat hair sticks to them.  I just got some light blue faux leather for the seats and hope to get those done once the hubby is off to work.  Eventually I will paint the kitchen table top too.  Cabinet pulls, a deck, extending our fence, TRX installed in the basement and new couches are all on my list too.  I'm sure this list will go until next year lol. 
I have money saved but since we still aren't sure if we are going to be furloughed, I can't be too sure that my savings will go towards those projects. 
I cannot wait until March is over.  I will be on a new meal plan and trying my best to get rid of those last 17 lbs.  I seem to keep gaining and losing the same 10 lbs. which isn't good.  I have a PT test at work on the 2nd.  Its easy and I have a lot of time but I had a goal to really do well but then I hurt my back in the fall doing deadlifts.  Secretly I hope to get back to lifting those higher weights on the deadlift and the squat.  All the guys actually stop and watch to see if I can really squat that much which I find funny.
Anyway, my hubby should be getting up soon.  I hope everyone has a terrific weekend if I don't get back to the blog.

Two days in a row!  Yippee!  This will be short and hopefully not all over the place.  Got to the gym rather late this afternoon but thanks to the icebath (miserable), my HRV said I had recovered and I was good to go to workout hard!  Unfortunately I told the trainers and they kicked my butt.  I had to run timed laps today.  13 in total, I believe.  It was rougher than I had anticipated but then I realized I hadn't really put in a good run on that track in over a year.  I had a heel spur that held me back for a bit.  My bodymedia said I burned like 1400 calories so that was impressive.  I feel like I ran 1400 miles.  My legs are destroyed.  That is from the workout on Monday lol.  So far my workout jar has $3 in it from this week so I am right on track. 
I am beyond tired so I think I am going to go to bed.  I just wanted to force myself to decompress.  Hopefully there will be some exciting stuff to write about this weekend.  I am off tomorrow but back to work Friday.  I am also on call this weekend so who knows.  Good night!!!

Ok, so I suck at this blogging thing already lol.  

Lets see...I have been killing myself at the gym this week.  Its great to be back on track!  I am using a couple of devices that I will comment about from time to time that I am hoping will keep me honest.  I am already seeing a difference in my confidence and happiness so that is great!  I am also getting stronger every day.  I wear a bodymedia which tells you how good or how awful you sleep, at least in my case.  I thought I was in bed on time last night and well according to my bodymedia, I got just under 4 hours of sleep at 64%.  That is the effectiveness of my sleep - I could have told them that it was low.  I don't sleep well.  Everything wakes me up and sometimes my mind keeps me up.  I'm working on that last one as I type!
I have also been using an HRV - heart rate variable program which is really cool.  It measures your resting heart rate in the am and tells you if you should hit the gym hard, moderate or recover and rest.  Awesome!  It also shows your fit level progress which is great.
So...before I went on my birthday month and a half break from eating clean, I had lost over 25lbs.  As of the 7th of this month, I have been going to the gym and working with my trainers for a year.  There have been a few weeks total that I haven't worked out due to injury or having a cold or scheduling conflicts.    The trainers are the best.  They helped me rehab my shoulder which I had torn in two places and today for the first time of my life I acutally completed burpees!  Never done one before since I had jacked up my shoulder and today I did 55!  Not all at once, we did a pyramid or ladder (can't remember) where I started with 10, then did the farmer carry with the kettlebell then did 9 burpees, farmer, etc.
According to my bodymedia, I burned 1356 calories for that workout today.  Not too shabby. 
Anyway, I better get going.  I have a bathtub full of ice cold water that I have to get into and I am not looking forward to that.  Hope to be back to the blog tomorrow but Thursday for sure.  Until then...

Introduction

I guess I should introduce myself, I am Sarah and I live in Virignia.  I am not sure anyone will be reading this but sometimes it is just good to get some stuff off of your chest, you know?  I turned 39 last month, I was born in California and have lived in Virginia since I was 15 years old.  I am a police officer and currently assigned to the K-9 Division in Northern Virginia.  I live outside of Richmond with my husband, two cats and four dogs, one of which is my partner at work. 
I started working on getting in shape at the end of 2011 and it has been a fun and difficult journey.  I will be posting a lot about that.  I will also be posting a lot about my job and life in general.  I will aplogize now for the content being boring and skipping all over the place.   My ADHD gets really obvious when I have a lot of Starbucks or a lot of stress lol.
Anyway, its nice to meet you!  Hope you come back and check out what is going on with me.