Another week! Canceled WDW trip.

Good morning! Happy Tuesday! I'm not sure how happy it is. I didn't go in to work yesterday. I literally slept until 1100. If someone hadn't sent me a text I probably would have slept all day. That worries me a little. I am not sure what is wrong. I usually don't sleep and now it is too much. What is up?! Luckily I need to schedule an appointment with my ADHD doctor and my regular physician so that should clear things up one way or another. Not a lot is going on. I found out my DH wants to trade the VW in with the Jeep next summer when the lease is up. Bummer. Oh well. What can I do. It is in his name anyway. I guess if that is the way out of the VW so be it. I was supposed to go to FL this week for a concert at WDW. Didn't happen. I canceled the trip. Long story. Now I have airline credit so I hope to go for my bday! I haven't heard anything about Disneyland yet. I am hoping I hear something this week or next. I am anxious to get an interview. Fingers crossed for sure. I am starting to think about Christmas and trying to figure out gift ideas. Ugh. What a pain. We don't need anything, you know? I think we will just buy for some kids in need again like last year. It was so much fun shopping for them. I am fortunate for everything we have so I have no problem giving. I know some kids will have a good Christmas if we do.

Happy Friday!

I am happy to report that someone is reading this! Holy cow. I thought I was just throwing my stuff out there into the abyss. I am glad to see the report that people are checking this page out. Very cool. I am so happy it is Friday. This has been quite a week. Up, down, up, and down. UGH. That is stressful. I am looking forward to a great weekend, not like that is different from any other Friday lol. I got a massage yesterday. I really needed that. Plus my massage therapist is awesome. Always encouraging me. Its nice. My dream job closed a couple of days ago. I hope I hear something soon. I would kill for an opportunity. It would be nice to have a choice for once, you know? I have been here for 18 years. UGH. I am not excited about the moving possibility. I cannot afford anything. I am not sure what I will do about that. Anyway, I have bowling tonight so I hope we take all 7 points! We are in 8th place currently. :) Have a great weekend!

What a day / night it was...

Yesterday was going well until I got in a text argument with someone which was totally unnecessary. Unreal actually. My thing is this...if I am such a pain in the ass just stop talking to me. Ya know? Don't do me any favors. Anyway so I am at work and just finished certifying with my canine partner and I was told we were going to 24/7 coverage starting tomorrow (today). Well, how is that going to happen? Everyone else is covered by the union so they are required to get two weeks notice of shift changes. Since I am not covered, me and my coworker have to fill the gaps. WHAT?!??!?! How can we do that for two weeks. This place is insane. Anyway, we came up with a schedule for the officers and hopefully they will just accept that this will take place in two weeks. Needless to say I left two plus hours late and had a raging headache. I got home and all I wanted to do was go out to eat and go to Digz. I was done. The last three days had been really stressful. I thought about it and did the right thing. I did not go out or to Digz. I'm really glad too, I actually lost 6 lbs already! I will remain on track and stay focused. If I can get through three days of headache and stress I can get through anything. Today was my last day of Healthy Mind and Body. I am so thankful that I had that opportunity. If it wasn't for that program I think I would really have lost it yesterday. Thank you, Rod Hairston.

The past just won't go away

I can't get into specifics but I am so tired of having the past brought up all the time. Ugh. It already happened, everyone learned from it...move on. Let it go. The only way to move forward is to stop looking back. What is the point of bringing up old crap that everyone should be over? Annoying. There is no benefit. Only finger pointing and blame and making people feel crappy. That is far from positive. Live in the now. Be present. I have given up on all the I used to be able to squat 225 crap. I wish I hadn't stopped working out so much but I can't do anything about it since it is over. I can only focus on now and hope I learned from the past and can be better than I was. That's it. Secret to life...live in the now. Its much happier there. That was my yesterday. Today has been better. It started rocky...I fell asleep driving three times on my way into work. Not good. The last time was really close and it scared me awake. Thank goodness. We are doing certification at work today. Aldo was crazy at first but we are pulling through. Fingers crossed all goes well. The dream Disney job should close today. I hope to hear something soon. Fingers crossed again. I could use a change of scenery. It would be a whole new life. Anyway, happy Wednesday!!!!

Back to the grind

Getting back in the swing of things at work is not easy once you have been on vacation. It is extra hard when you are sick once you get back from vacation. My cold is finally leaving but I am so tired. Its like I cannot get enough sleep. Right now, I wish I could go home and sleep and I just got here. LOL I have just two days left of my Isagenix Healthy Mind and Body program. It has really been great and I am almost sad to see it end. It has made me more positive for the most part and more grateful for sure. Both very good and important things. It is so easy to take things for granted. Speaking of Isagenix, I started back on my program yesterday. I ended my day with a killer headache but I actually feel better this morning. Well, I hope you have a great day and a great week!

Disneyworld trip

I just got back from Disneyworld and I had a blast! We went to the Mickey's not so scary Halloween party and dressed up as characters from Wreck it Ralph. It was so fun! We watched the Boo to you parade and everyone in the parade was freaking out about our costumes! Aladdin came over and said something, Mickey Mouse made a big deal, etc. It was amazing! We had a great time! I will post pics asap. The remainder of our trip was good. I would say the highlight was the Halloween party and parade though.

What doesn't kill you makes you wish it would lol

Wow it has been a couple of days. I have had major breakthroughs but they have not been without causalities. The friend that doesn't give me time. Wow. I confronted them and found out a lot of information I was missing. In turn, they did too. They took my being upset that they spent time with randoms as contradicting me telling them to stop isolating themselves. That is not the case. I am excited they are going out. I'm sad its not with me. Then they explained about their goal and their why. They are so focused they cannot miss a day working on their goal. Not even for friends. Well, that makes more sense and makes me feel it isn't because of me. Meanwhile I have totally bailed on my health. Ugh. I'm embarrassed I let it get this bad. Why did I just say who cares? I do! Unreal. So...the battle begins again. :) Thank goodness for that. I'm tired of being tired lol. Oh the good side this is all progress. Knowing I can confront issues and not hide from them is pretty big. Especially when there is potential of getting hurt in during that confrontation. I am disappointed in myself. I know better than to take my eye off the main prize for even a second. I now need to refocus and get myself back on track. The fabulous news is that I know I can do it and I will.

Wet weekend

I am so tired of the rain. Ugh. I know we need it but everyone is a grump lol. Anyway, my weekend was great! We bowled great on Friday night and it was really fun. Saturday we had to pre-bowl because of the WDW trip and Angie was late. She told us 1530. She got there and lost her mind on my DH about how we weren't supposed to be there until 1600 and that she told us that. No, none of us heard that. So she tells us to bowl and we start and I hear her still going off about it. I said I was done and that I wasn't going to listen to that for the rest of the day. She left. I'm sorry but we don't need to hear all that bitching when it really is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Luckily, she came back and we continued bowling. After bowling we went to Digz and the highlight of my weekend happened. Jesse came to the table and asked me what size shirt I wear. I said M and he handed me a shirt - hot off the press. They aren't even on sale yet. AWESOME! It was the OCP shirt I came up with. I got the first one. I love that place. I gave him a hug and I could not be more excited. Its cool to see something you think of come to light. Sunday was great too. I slept in which is rare. Don't get me wrong, I was up with the dogs a few times but I actually went back to bed and slept until 1000. That is amazing. The rest of the day? I didn't do too much but it was a good day. Here we are on Monday and just a few days to FL. I cannot wait to get away.

TGIF! Long week

Yesterday I actually was feeling pretty good towards the end of my work day. Unfortunately a text conversation from the night before had me thinking. I realize there are people in my life that make me feel bad or like I am crap. It sucks to admit that my parents are in that category. I know they love me but they say stupid shit that is hurtful. One of my friends does this too. I realize they all mean well but damn. I am working really hard to love and accept myself and those people are not helping me. I posted on IG the other night about letting go and being at peace with it. I meant work. My friend texted and asked if it was about them. I pretty much said if the shoe fits. My thing is if you think it is about you, then you must know you are hurting me. They got all pissed and told me off and I tried to explain to no avail. I was told I always do the same thing but in reality this is a totally new situation. I am standing up to someone hurting me. Not intentionally hurting me. I tried to explain that I am stressed about applying for this job and thinking about my parents non-approval and I am tired. They said I was holding back. I wasn't. I just couldn't get all of that out before they jumped on me about other stuff. I said I wasn't going to put up with that and they flipped. We are no longer going to be friends. I will not be allowed back in their life and it sucks. I am so much better than I was yet still not good enough. The cycle continues. I'm just wondering when I will meet someone who treats me the way I treat them? Am I not worthy of having someone share their incredible gifts with me? I have numerous friends that do treat me awesome and we share a lot of great time together. My DH is amazing. He is funny and loves me and my flaws. I just don't get why I can't share time with others who are more "available". I am not sure that will even translate. I hate that this former friend would rather go to the gym or an appointment than hang out with me after I traveled to see them. What do I do with that? What is wrong with me that they don't make me the priority I make them? Friendships are like flowers, you have to water them to grow. I guess they are out of water. :(